If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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