First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
