I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
