bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
