They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
