I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
