I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
