I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
