His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
