dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
