do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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