The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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