Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
two words...techno handjob
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
