A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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