escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
