let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
