She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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