so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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