She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
