that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
