look no pants
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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