Dual....:-)
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
we're so committed to being not committed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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