You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
