see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
