How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
