just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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