.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
