is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
