your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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