Your tits are I can't wait for
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
