Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
