He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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