doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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