just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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