Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
