We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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