you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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