I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
