i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and she was petting her beer can
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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