oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm too high and old for this...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
