Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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