FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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