Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
