she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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