I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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