I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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