i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
