I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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