I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
