this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
